Idiots

So I went to the Redskins game on Sun vs. the Saints. Man was it hot as shit! I went with my friends and my girlfriend, we had a blast tailgating . I have night games on Sundays so I did not get tanked hammeredstiened so I actually remembered what happened.
So Kristyn and I split up from them cause our tickets were where the real fans sit, upper level !!! Yeah so after walking like 20 fucking ramps we get up to the upper level, find what we thought were our seats. Keep in mind it was 96 degrees at this time. We sit down dripping in sweat, and the dude next to me in this fucking redneck motherfucker who has not showered in his adult life and smelled like a greasy monkey. MOPAR V8 BABY!!! Then during a time out I watch as every other fucking mutt walk up 100 flights of steps to get to their seats, you can't help but notice colors that don't ever belong in FEDEX field EVER!
This dumb ass bitch is wearing a Miami Dolphins jersey????? Hello you fucking inbred ,soft tooth, ass ,bitch , this is the REDSKINS VS SAINTS game not fucking Cuba where the fucking dolphins play. To make me even a little more enraged this fucking bitch has the balls to tell me that I am sitting in her seats??? Me being the fucking rocket scientist that I am , I climb a row back because I don't have time to acknowledge a form of lower life ( Dolphins ju broad).
I am relieved that I no longer have to sit next to Larry the cable guy omitting Valvoline from his pores. I get stuck with a dude who is obviously the type of guy who walks around the board walk in ocean city asking if he can bum a smoke from you or is too broke to buy weed and ask if he can drink the bong water? So I am like great , fine I keep rooting for the skins, they miss two field goals and then they go to like the 10th time out in a span of 5 mins. So the cheerleaders run onto the field and they start blaring some shitty music by young/lil/$ / crunk/ease/west/dirty souf something music and these fucking guys are like dancing lifting their arms smelling like wetback dick. They finally get up and leave to go where ever and then after some other bullshit its halftime.
Fast forward to the third quarter we find our real seats. We are surrounded by some more decent forms of life and the sun was no where near as bright so I am like yes , now I can watch the game with no distractions. Right ? Wrong ! No ,fucking shit bag throw a pass? What do we do ? Lets stand up every fucking time considering you can see everything perfectly fine , SITTING down! So sheila tells me calm down its OK. So I am like your right pipe down son. No we got fucking John Mayer /shoeby/frat-tasic guy fucking hammered trying to keep it real with some black folk , trying to do a chest bump but gets knocked on his ass. ARRRRK ARRRK ackk funny, awesome! Then you have that one guy who just starts blurting out random as shit, completely irrelevant like West coast my ass", "fucking take him out", "Zorn you fucking suck" his wife looks a little pissed that he is being told to shut his mouth and that there are kids here! (Cause some people take their kids to the most sober filled activity out there!) This brings up a couple points so I break down for you :

1. Please under no circumstance should you ever,ever, ever wear a jersey ,shirt, hat, scarf, doo rag, skully,grill, fronts, burka,turbin, glasses, boots, shoes of a team that is not fucking PLAYING!!!!!

2. Parents, please do not go to a game and expect little Jimmy not to see,witness,hear,feel,touch,smell adult acts,such as , swearing,public intoxication, cursing, death threats, racial slurs!!! Did you not get the hint when you saw all the white dudes in the parking lot listening to yung jizzy and pounding beers, body slamming each other on top of their cars, did you really expect them not to come into the stadium?

3. $8 for a fucking beer? Please man you are busting my balls, at least let me get a reach around with that shit son.

4. Do people really bring a bucket of cold,fried chicken? I mean don't take this the wrong way but are you serious? I know some shit is acceptable to eat cold under certain circumstance (high,broke,college kid). Grill hot dogs? I know I was cut from a different cloth then all you peasants but come on slim bone!

5. Skins won get out of my face son.


Bobby